Slightly more accurate Hetalia
by SuperUltraMegaMiko
Summary: As someone that studies history and has now put in research into stereotypes, some things bother me in Hetalia. Here I try to accurate-ify them. I don't care if I ruin your favourite character, if I do that just means you liked a faker trying to be the character. Take your emo Iceland elsewhere or leave him at the door, he is not real, for Icelandics aren't emo.
1. The 'Italia' confusion

"Hey fratello..." Feliciano hums as he waits for Lovino to finish the Spaghetti. "Have you ever thought about why we are still two people representing the same country?"

Lovino stops for a second to think. He then answers.  
"Because brother complexes are more relatable and Himaruya didn't want an easy to anger Italian that comes off as a sweetie pie at first glance for some reason despite that being the more accurate stereotype." (AN: Trust me I know my father's side is just all Italians)

"...I see. But, I thought it was because of how Allies took one part of Italy while the Axis still had the other part? Or something? Isn't that a piece of trivia on your wiki page, fratello?" Feliciano asks back.

Lovino's rage vaporises the pasta. "THEN HOW COME I WAS NEVER SEEN WITH THE FUCKING ALLIES THEN, AH?"

Marcelo then walks into the kitchen, quickly walking right back out because Seborga isn't useful right now.

Feliciano fails to come up with an answer. "Aaeeehhhhe?" Is the sound that leaves his mouth. Only after leaving his mouth agape for too long does he try and answer properly. "Well, I think it's because-"  
"Also don't you dare say the north and south have different cultures. Belgium is one whole country but half speaks dutch, and the other half speaks french. HOW IS THAT FOR DIFFERENT CULTURE, FAGGOTOLIS? WHERE ARE MY TWO BELGIUMS? AH? AAHH?"

Marcelo walks back in, now with a portable radio. He hits play and Italian music comes on. The two Italy brothers soon bust into dance.  
Ala Steven Universe, one jumps at the other and a bright light surrounds them. Once the light is gone, there stands a lone Italy...Dark-ish brown hair, brown eyes and two curls, one being smaller than the other.

"Merda...that's the last time I'm doing that...unless North Italy and South Italy actually become two separate countries..." This new 'fused' Italia then looks at Seborga. "No more Vargas trio for...a while. Scusi."  
"...well, I've seen weirder shit on the internet." Marcelo sighs.


	2. Belgium's identity crisis

"Whoops, looks like I forgot to mention that the culture differences shouldn't be used as an EXCUSE to have two Italie. Now everyone in the reviews are mad." Italia sighs, looking at his iPad. "And I completely forgot about America...the north and south did fight each other, didn't they? And even today the two parts pretty much have different accents and values, at least a little bit..."

"And if you ask someone about Italy...well, for the most part, the same stereotypes will be applied to the entire country...right?" Marcelo asks.  
"...pretty much. Hey, has anyone ever tried figuring out whether Mario and Luigi are from the north or south?" Italia replies.

Ther conversation is cut off by Belgium screaming and crying in the distance. The two run towards her direction.

They find the country sobbing as she sits on a rock.  
"Am I belgian? Or am I flemish? Or am I walloon...OH LORD I DON'T KNOW! AT THIS RATE I WON'T HAVE A GOVERNMENT AGAIN!"

"Laura, calm down bella!" Macrelo tries to reassure her by gently patting her shoulders. "Shhh..."  
"Deep breaths now...once you're relaxed, tell us why you're crying. If you're fine with that, that is." Italia says.

Laura takes a deep breath and then exhales loudly. "Ah...sorry you two." She quickly aplogises. "It's just that...well...I watched a video about countries that might not exist soon...and I was on the list. Well...at least as a full country. My Dutch speakers and French speakers can't seem to come to agreements anymore and...now I'm worried for the future. What am I to you? Am I the north or the south? I mean...I speak both Dutch and French because of this madness but...which one do I speak better? Come on! My future depends on this!"

The italian duo give her some strange looks. "...does it matter?"

Laura goes pale. "I...I swear I should be two different countries by now...the language barriers are tearing my country apart, I mean...the schools even have different cirriculums depending on what language is spoken!..." She shivers. "North and South Belgium? Or Flanders and Wallonia?"

"...erm, can I please leave this georgaphy class?" Marcelo raises his hand. "I can't answer this."


	3. Interlude ft Iceland

AN: Is it wrong to ask for a more accurate stereotype? As a show that bases itself of stereotypes trying to interact with each other, it angers me that some aren't even accurate (first that comes to mind is Sweden). That and some things need to be addressed correctly if Himaruya also wants to educate people.

Italy and Romano are two halves of a whole stereotype, they simply don't work as different characters if you actually want a stereotype of Italy. Italians are kind at first and let out their stubborn side once you've gotten to know them, not simply kind or simply an asshole. And while Belgium can work as one character, the divide between the north and south should be mentioned, especially since it's the exact reason why Belgium had no fucking government for several hundred days. And then there's Sealand, I searched everywhere and nowhere did I see Sealand being purchased, with the closest thing being the Pirate Bay merely wanting to purchase it for a new base of operations...

As an older fan (being an adult), my aim was to make something people would see as controversial concerning the characters and hope for good reactions from younger or newer or simply overly-forgiving fans. Turns out I'm doing a good job so far.  
Humans make mistakes, but if they don't improve from them, then they have no excuse. So why is Hima this godly exception?

* * *

"...What? Why does it say I'm emo in the summary?" Emil asks himself out loud.  
Andersen pets his shoulder. "It's because 12 year olds that think they're emo want to relate to you. I mean, these are the same people that villianise Ivan for no reason, you know!"  
"Denmark, since when was your name Andersen?" Berwald suddenly asks.  
"Since when was my name Mathias?" Andersen asks back.


End file.
